Alert #184: 7/31/2011

MLM Products
The Good, the Bad, and the Goofy

This Thursday evening, July 28th, I’ll be conducting a training call on behalf of the Association of Network Marketing Professionals which will address one of my favorite topics: The fascinating, often funny, and sometimes frustrating world of MLM products. I know some of you old-timey subscribers have played this game before, but here’s a little quiz that really sets the tone of this call.

Below is a short description of several MLM products. All but one is a real product, that was, or is, actually sold by an MLM company. You must choose which is the fake product. After reading the list the common reaction is that I mistakenly reversed my description of the list, and I must have meant that all but one are fake and you must select the one real product. Nope. As hard as it will be to believe, only one is fake.

#1 – Sound Wave Gel.
A topical gel that interacts with your body’s “energy field” to assist the body in healing itself. Works by infusing the body with high energy sound waves. This inaudible tone helps the trillions of cells in the body come into harmony. It miraculously organizes and harmonizes all human, plant and animal DNA.

#2 – Oxygen Supplement.
Many illnesses are caused by oxygen deprivation and our air “contains 50% less oxygen than 20 years ago.” This 2 ounce tincture supplements the oxygen supply in the blood. It consists of “stabilized oxygenated water and sodium” which is administered orally where the oxygen is absorbed via the digestive system.

#3 – Electrical Matrix Aligner.
Molecules and atoms are made up of electronic charges. Therefore, we should not focus so much on the chemical nature, but the electrical nature of our bodies. These nutritional products “align your body’s electrical matrix.” These are products with their “life energy” still intact.

#4 – Luminescent Blood.
Research in Japan has shown that the growth of harmful bacteria and viruses are inhibited by certain spectrums of light. Also, these light spectrums accelerate the production of antibodies. A line of products have been developed that can introduce harmless, luminescent phosphates into the blood stream, thus causing “the bad bugs” to go dormant.

#5 – Antibody Trainer.
Bacteria and viruses are becoming more resistant to antibiotics. This product “trains” chicken antibodies to recognize and destroy over 250,000 forms of viruses within the human blood stream. Can “stop sickness and disease forever!”

#6 – Shoe Insoles.
Acupressure therapy has shown that when certain sections of the bottom of the feet are massaged, there is a positive effect on various body organs. There are a variety of shoe insoles each with a different pattern of strategically placed bumps and ridges that are therapeutic in the treatment of various bodily ailments.

#7 – Amazing Crystals.
These microscopic crystals can cause water to freeze at room temperature, will increase the power and mileage in your car engine, will clean laundry for up to seven years without detergent, and causes skin care products to work 85% better.

#8 – Death Bonus.
Distributors purchase several life insurance policies and make the company the primary beneficiary on all but one. Bonuses of over $100,000 are distributed upline from the proceeds of the policies after a distributor dies. On average, one out of every 110 downline members will die each year.

#9 – Age Reversing Capsules.
The human body naturally sends “longevity signals” to the brain which tell your brain that your body is growing younger. This product increases and amplifies those signals. The result is that a 50 year old can achieve a “biological” age of 34 within six months (which can be verified by a “highly sophisticated” at home urine test sold by the company).

#10 – Sour Milk Perfume.
Distributors buy a package of milk culture which they grow in their refrigerator. The resulting culture is used as an ingredient in the reproduction of the actual perfume once used by Cleopatra. The company will repurchase the culture for more than the price paid for it, plus upline commissions are paid on the original culture purchase.

#11 – God’s Soap.
Cleansing products that, when used during bathing, will prevent or even cure various diseases. According to the company founder, he awoke in the middle of the night to find that God had written the formulas for these soap products in light on his bedroom wall.

#12 – Dilution Solution.
Prevents or cures toxin related diseases by adding the actual toxic substance to water, pouring half of the solution into an equal amount of water, pouring half of that resulting solution into an equal amount of water, and then repeating this process thousands of times until the solution is so diluted that not a single molecule of the original toxin remains. This final solution will still possess the “resonant energy” of this toxin and when consumed will protect the body from that toxin.

#13 – Asteroid Juice.
A large asteroid exploded over Siberia in 1908 leveling hundreds of square miles of trees and killing all life, even microbial, within the blast zone. But soon after various exotic forms of plant life began to grow within the area, including a fruit never before found on Earth. This fruit possesses amazing health and curative qualities.

#14 – Magic Wand.
This $400 metallic wand shoots a narrow beam of “zero point energy” up to 30 meters. When directed at an object or person and waved clockwise three-and-a-half rotations it can make food taste better, plants grow faster, increase strength, and treat or cure various diseases by causing the cells to “return to source”.

If you haven’t played the game before (or you did but don’t remember the correct answer), please email back which one you think is the product I just made up. I’ll reveal the answer during Thursday’s ANMP training call.

I’ll also be poking fun at, and holes in, some other goofy product claims and “technologies”. Although I want to keep this light, and have some fun with it, there is quite a bit of non-sense out there and it’s time to start calling out all this “junk MLM” that’s pervading this industry.

Please join us Thursday, August 4th, at 5:30 pm PST (8:30 EST)
Call 712-432-1000, pin 569-864-201#

Also, the following Thursday, August 11th, I’ll begin a seven part weekly training series that will take you through the entire income producing process, from generating your first lead all they way to keeping a large organization together once you’ve developed it. I’ll be sending out more details in the next few days, but in the mean time, please try to keep the next several Thursday evenings open for these calls. They’ll be free to those who listen in live, but you’ll have to either purchase the series – or be an ANMP member – to access them once each call has concluded.

Remember, email me your answer to the product quiz ASAP. I hope to hear you on tomorrow’s call (tonight’s, if you’re reading this on Thursday), and let’s have some fun!

Len Clements
Founder & CEO
MarketWave, Inc.

About Len Clements

Based in Las Vegas and Founder and CEO of MarketWave, Inc., Len Clements provides consulting, training & expert witness services for the network marketing industry. Since 1989, he has been a top producer, trainer, and consultant for multiple network marketing companies. As a well-respected icon in the MLM industry today, Len conducts Inside Network Marketing seminars throughout the world and is the author of several best-selling books and audio tapes including Inside Network Marketing (Random House), Case Closed, The Whole Truth About Network Marketing and The Coming Network Marketing Boom.